you are my center when I spin away

yay_box IS MY HERO. She made me this awesome layout and I owe her 1,000 hugs.

My mental state is SO FUCKED UP right now that I just do not even know where to begin. My apologies for a semi-serious and non-fandom related venting for just a second, but has anyone on my friends list seen Apocalypse Now? I just came from watching it in my Movie Adaptation class. It's based on Heart of Darkness, a book I hated, so I was prepared for 'Ughhhh... this sucks', but I was NOT prepared for what that movie actually did to me.

What I don't understand is why no one else seemed disturbed at all. The movie ended, they got up and left like they'd seen nothing. Has society, has my generation really become that desensitized? Or is it just me? Am I like... weak? Is it because I've not watched the SAW movies?

Whatever. All I know is that I cried 4 times in there and when I left I was shaking. I had to call my mom and talk to her for a bit because I was that traumatized. There was so much... I don't even want to talk about it now. All I can say is that I'm so disturbed and so... disheartened in the weirdest ways and I just want to go back to Arashi and love and happy and forget about all the horrible shit that goes on in the world.


SO. That being said.

I'm going to try and finish my remix fic later and then that can be posted. And then maybe I'll... I don't even know right now. I just want to curl up and eat candy and calm down. So, if anyone has any suggestions for me for cheery happy times let me know.

I guess part of the problem is that I had a Philosophy exam this morning and I also hate Philosophy. It's all the stuff I really hate to think about, and I had to write about it for 2 hours. And when I finished, I was in desperate need of a nap, and I couldn't sleep because my mind was still racing. D:

I missed America's Next Top Model last night OH NOOOOOOOO. I need it and Project Runway Canada immediately. GIRLY GIRL TIMES, K?

PS: Sorry to my two new friends. Go down one entry to the phallic candy, it'll make you understand my journal's normal state a bit better. ;)

Pointless Post is Pointless In Purple-Ish
(but I'm very bad with colors, so don't take my word for it)

Also, I have a new layout ♥ (thanks for the scans, lady_gemma! Ilu)

Also also, I am learning two different ways to spell words phonetically because my classes don't match up. It is k r e z i.